The Fight

Do you think becoming a lawyer or doctor is hard? Do you think obtaining a PHD is intense? Does the debit you owe seem like it’s so impossible to pay it off? Well hands down I guarantee building and having an intimate relationship with God is harder than any of that, and it’s free. There’s no debit to pay because Jesus paid it all!  I say it’s harder because it’s a lifetime journey, the “degree” isn’t obtained in a 4-10 year program. Don’t we wish it was that simple?

To be in a gang they have to go through the initiation process to become a part of the crew, and that shows how tough they are. To them I say if you want to see or prove how strong you are, join this Christian walk! This ride is not for the weak at heart, being a Christian is harder than what some may think. It’s more than going to church and saying a few Amen’s here and there. Its more than saying “I’m praying for you” We have to believe in the power of prayer. We have to have faith and believe that anything is possible so God can have room to do the impossible.

Daily life is intense especially when you have asked God to enlarge your territory, and asked him to order your steps and have his way. When he starts to move you may begin to battle with your flesh even more. You may begin to question things more than ever, you may even begin to doubt yourself but all of the thoughts and emotions are a part of the journey towards your blessings. Those feelings and thoughts that are happening teaches you to trust God whole heartedly beyond a shadow of a doubt. For those of us that tend to stress we could lighten the load if we simply Trust God. Trust that he will never leave you or forsake you.  Just because things didn’t go the way you planned doesn’t mean that God wasn’t right there in the midst of it all. Why is it hard for some to trust God? I hope it’s not because you think you are in control of your own life. If so let us pause so we can have a come to Jesus moment….

In my circle when something doesn’t go the way we really want it to go, we sing three words “GOD BLOCKED IT.” We are normally laughing as we sing those three words or laughing while we are typing those three words to each other. Were laughing because we know we had no business doing whatever it was we were thinking about or planning on doing. Some of us even have the nerve to try and debate why we thought it was a good idea (guilty). I think it’s funny and also serious at the same time because it allows us to realize God can shut your operation down quickly! Also allows us to reflect on ourselves and how we were getting off track. It’s a blessing to have friends and family that support your journey, and also have their own journey. Do you surround yourself with souls who will hold you accountable for your actions that you know better about? Do you surround yourself with souls that can help you battle your flesh? Being in the ring daily with your flesh is exhausting. Our flesh will make you delusional (laughing) I am laughing because I have been a victim. I thank ya Lord for deliverance (SMILE).

Having a relationship with God requires the same as a worldly relationship and even more. It requires quality time, intimacy, sacrifice, dedication, giving, trust, and communication just to name a few. A lot of relationships don’t work because of lack of communication. Don’t let your relationship with God suffer because of lack of communication which is PRAYER!

When YOUR plan doesn’t work remember to sing those three words “GOD BLOCKED IT”and then pray and smile.

Be BLESSED

A Little More Country?

Don't you LOVE this picture? This picture made me reflect on LOVE. Just the essence of this picture made me smile when I reflected about the endless possibilities that love, not lust can bring. (SMILE)

Now for me to respond to the previous post from Nic. Dating is not for the weak it truly is survival of the fittest. You have to know who you are and what you are not. If not, you could end up in a world of trouble but when you win you win! Nic compared the city girl against the country girl. I will be the first to say that I do have my theories and I will share.

I don’t even know how to go into this lightly or without being judgmental so I won’t beat around the bush (as you know that’s not me). Southern men put California men to shame. The difference in quality amazes me every time. Our men have lost their….I can’t even begin to say what they have lost because the real question is have they ever had it. Some California men don’t have the concern, compassion the hustle or determination. Some men are more concerned with the outer shell. Which include their clothes, shoes and their prettiness. Geesh! What happened to our men wearing just sweats and a t-shirt to the grocery store? They have taken pretty boy swag to another level. Actually it’s not even ok to use pretty in the same sentence when referring to a boy or man, so we won’t.

California men are so much in competition with each other they forget about the basic principles on how to treat a woman open the doors, walk on the outside of her to protect her from traffic, take out the trash, pump the gas, walk her to her car, let her order before you. Give her your jacket when she’s cold, they don’t do that because it messes up their outfit. What I will say is that California men will do all of the above if asked to. Why do we have to ask when that’s suppose to be a part of your man DNA?

Don’t mistake my reflection to mean that I am bashing California men or think they are worthless because that is not true! I know plenty of great California men but they are overshadowed by “the others” (laughing).  Also don’t think that I think southern men are perfect or what we all need, because they are not. Please believe they too have their faults. What I am saying is that country men are out weighing California men on the charts like China does the USA in education! Why? Does it have something to do with women and what women accept?

In dating the first questions you ask stay pretty much surface. Why don’t we ask the correct questions? Why don’t some of us ask the questions that will give us answers of substance? Is it because we are afraid of the answers that we know we will receive? So we would rather not hear them because when you know better you do better, and some may not be ready to do better just yet. Some are comfortable in the space they are in. To those I say you are hindering your own blessings. Step aside and get out of your own way!

Whatever your conclusion may be, and if you’re accepting lifetime partner applications just know that whatever you do and however many times you try and do it, in the end it will all fall in line according to Gods plan. The space that you are in is definitely for a reason, so embrace it and be present in the moment.

I will end with this scripture 1 Cor 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails

Be BLESSED

It's a Cold Game

Among my peers, which include men and women dating seems to be the topic that we all share either over a meal, the phone, via email or text and the outcome tends to be the same. IT'S A COLD GAME OUT THERE. (Laughing). Now some of us have succeeded at finding that special someone. For the rest there are so many unanswered questions. Now I normally only like to write about what I know for sure, and  I wanted to get a male point of view to see if it has anything to do with geographical location or standards being excessive. So I reached into my circle and pulled out Nic, I thought we all could appreciate what a mans reflection on the dating game was. I asked him to give his point of view and on Monday I will follow up with mine. Lets see if we can ALL learn something from each other. This is what Nic had to say.....

“Why are you single” I’ll give you the answer I give most people when asked that asinine question. This has got to be one of the most loaded questions of all time. But when I do respond, I ask them why not? “Well you’re a handsome guy” “You’re educated” “You’re professional” “You’re so cultured” etc. To which I reply: “Well, that’s exactly why. It appears those qualities are not looked at as appealing here in the Bay Area. And that goes for Men and Women alike. They are good qualities to have but for some odd reason it’s treated with suspicion and pessimism. When you meet someone with good qualities the first thought tends to be “what’s wrong”? Like something is missing that hasn’t come to the surface yet and you’re just waiting for it to explode.

The “Types”

“Hood” type. The kind you’ll pick up for a date wearing Ed Hardy instead of a black dress. Tennis shoes or flats instead of a nice pair of heels. They get in the car tell you to turn that boring Maxwell off and put on Plies….

Then there is the “self absorbed” type: She’s in the mirror 89% of the date and taking self-portraits of herself to upload on Facebook for the other 11%. They are so in love with themselves and anyone who dares to pose the question of “narcissism” is branded a so-called hater. They have no interest in anything not pertaining to them and if it’s not a trending topic on Twitter or Facebook it’s not relevant. They update their Facebook and Twitter status every half hour with the most mundane details of their life and sleeps with their phone under the pillow.

Then of course how could we forget the “Alpha Female” the high powered, highly driven career women who treats men as an accessory. The new trend in which women have devalued the man in the relationship can be traced to BS reality trash shows. Shows like “Real Housewives of ---“ and numerous Keyshia Cole records gave birth and a breath of life to a lot of “angry black women” who then used their drives towards independence by devaluing and emasculating the man in the process.

And how can we forget the “Clubbing Type”, the one that’s in the club 6 days a week. They loved to be seen and the attention they gather is addicting. Some of them have kids, yet somehow they manage to make it to the club every night. In a relationship, going out with the girls takes precedence over their man. In a relationship where it’s a 70/30 in favor of the boyfriend, they tend to have an 80/20 in favor of their girlfriends.

The Southern Belle

                There has been a lot of talk about the infamous “Southern Belle”, they are the ones with the southern charm. They are typically brought up in a household where women are raised to be just that. They have manners; they are cultured, and have no qualms about treating their man like a king. Unlike Cali women they don’t have an issue with pride nor do they feel the need to have to compete.

She also doesn’t have a need to show her “independence” to a man or to the world. I don’t need go there about the cooking and other domestic skills these women tend to have.

But where does that come from? Clearly, it’s not the culture out here. And their mothers who were taught by theirs respectively likely teach them these skills. So can we blame the lack of culture in bay area women on the parents? That’s open for debate but there is an obvious connection to the two.

What type are you? 

Where do we go from here?

Now keeping in mind you can find these types all over the country and not just in the Bay area, you can’t help but wonder why these types are so popular and abundant in the Bay. Sure you can find these women in Atlanta, GA and Jackson, MS but why is it so concentrated here in the Bay? There has been a lot of debate about whether the professional, cultured, and educated singles can find a match in the Bay area. Surely, they are out there. But why do we keep missing each other?

How can we cut thru the noise and be able to see each other amongst all the distractions of these types? How many times have you met someone with good qualities and dismissed them as “too good to be true”? What a challenge that would be to have look in the mirror and ask if we are our own worst enemy in dating? The good types actually do exist in the bay area. They are just distracted with the same “types” just like you, so the question remains: How can we find each other?

-Nic

Single

CAUTION: This next reflection may cause some debate but that’s more than alright with me!

What is your status? Married, Divorced, Separated, Widowed or Single?  As you see there is not an option for dating. What does that mean? It means YES you are single if you aren’t married (period).  Having a boo doesn’t count, there is not an option to check off on any paperwork that we fill out for dating, if you don't believe me go ahead and check. I don’t care if you have been with him/her for 7+ years (lesson learned). We get so comfortable and caught in the titles that we stay in a relationship just to say we have someone and lose count on how many YEARS we have been wasting oops I mean dating. I am not talking about childhood dating I am speaking of adult grown man and woman dating.

Is it just me or does the title boyfriend or girlfriend seem only appropriate for the under 25? Just think about it, the next time you introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 plus years and you’re over 25. Let me know if you experience an awkward feeling. What are the terms and conditions of a boyfriend or girlfriend? How does it differ from husband and wife? If your answer is, it really isn’t a difference then why are you still dating the same person for years, and not married? If you believe there is a difference, what is it? If we look at the word it defines itself. GIRL-friend/ BOY-friend.  I am sure if you are reading this you define yourself as a man or a woman. Go ahead and reflect on that and I will move along…

Some judge when a couple has been dating for less than a year, and they decided to get married. Why judge? Why does society feel a couple has to date for X amount of time before its “approved”.  (Laughing) I tell my circle that I am only going to be engaged for 6 days not even a full week, I don’t have any time to waste (don’t judge). I think relationships and the expectations have become so watered down and now some are just doing the bare minimum to survive. It becomes more of a business transaction then what it’s suppose to truly be about, and that is love. I am someone who believes in different levels of love and that’s why I am not afraid to tell anyone I love them because I genuinely do. YES I LOVE YOU. Both men and women are afraid of that word, I wonder if that’s because of the power that one word holds. Is it easy for you to love?

If you‘re in a relationship are you in it for the right reasons, or are you scared of lonely? Are you hindering your blessings based on the comfort that you are use to? When does comfort turn into a waste of time? Comfort can be so scary! It causes us to deny the facts and avoid the obvious. Time is so valuable! The most precious assets you can never get back. So we have to be careful who we give it away to, everyone isn’t worthy. So what if you are single, embrace it! Learn to play alone, because if you don’t you will stay single until you appreciate it. At the end of the day probably 97% of us want to maintain a loving relationship. I don’t believe that anyone wants to be single. People say they want to be single and those are the people who just want to avoid all the extra unnecessary moments that come along with a relationship. If that all could be avoided they would take a significant other at any moment. I don’t believe in using the term “my other half” or “my better half” because I believe we need to be whole before we can be an assets to anyone. Regardless of your status don’t forget about yourself, don’t get lost in anyone.

Some reading this are probably saying “I am not single” but is the other person you are involved with aware of that? Or are they acting single and you playing married? I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just trying to be honest. (Smile)

Are you being honest with yourself about your status?

Be BLESSED

Art Imitates Life, Game On

From the opening credits “viewer discretion advised” last night episode was just that ON! Between the all day countdown and the promotional pictures, interviews, marathons and trending topics I think we were all more than ready for that moment. Either because we were excited or just waiting to see what the hype was about. Did it exceed your expectations or were you disappointed?Either way I will be watching.

Derwin

He alone was all the reasoning I needed NOT to be disappointed. If you haven’t noticed he is my boyfriend in my head and I am ok with that, so don’t judge. His devotion to Melanie and his love for his child are great qualities to publicly show in a man. Men could you deal with that type of pressure? A wife, baby mama and a toddler that all developed at the same time?  I wasn’t feeling Derwin’s son Xizbit  braids,*side eye* NO BUENO. Did anyone else notice Derwin say that he is still paying Melanie’s medical school bills? He’s rollin (rich) no need for payment plans, doesn’t he know those interest rates are killing him! (Laughing). Wondering if this marriage will stand the test of the baby mama drama? Between you and me, I don’t think Girl Melanie will ever tell him the baby is his. I know I wasn’t the only one who seen that mistake coming. It was too good to be true. Is love ever just that easy?

Girl Melanie

Where do we start? Ms. Former Med School, former as in she gave that all up for her man. Now was that smart? My grandmas voice is playing in my head right now as I type “baby don’t put your trust in man he will let you down every time, put your trust in God” Ladies could you be in her shoes? After all, in her own words she thinks she’s “winning”. CLEARLY her definition of winning is not the same as websters. Her husband is balling football player the extra toddler floating around is just a bonus right? NOT! No way! No how! In my words NO BUENO! Even though the baby was conceived when they were on a “break” which is something I don’t believe in for that pregnancy reason alone! A break in a relationship? Someone please explain the details on how that works. Really Girl Melanie (laughing) a at home DNA test for the baby? While he was playing in the bubbles! It's a cold game, I am not mad use your resources (still laughing). Would you go that far or trust your man to handle his business after two years? Or after two years has he exceeded the moment and now its time to take matters into your own hands? Why as women do we take on more than we should?  He did marry her and yet that's still not enough to stop her from playing Carmen San Diego (I know yall remember that show). Oh before I forget, I knew Tia Mowry was pregnant in real life I just knew it! I actually said it on twitter yesterday. I must start cashing in on my theory's, I am missing out!

Mr. Malik Wright

Before we begin with him I would like to go on record and say that I believe that those pictures of his hot dog without the bun was leaked on purpose for even more publicity for the show. Malik! Malik! ummmhmmm he’s a dirty dog (laughing) sleeping with the owners wife, and liking getting slapped, I know yall seen those bathroom scenes. Now “that woman” is what makes men think women can’t be trusted. I’m actually upset with Malik for doing TT like he did. Where is the loyalty? Again it goes back to my theory of not everyone has the same definition of friendship.  It’s crazy how money and what you think is power can be your biggest downfall. Be careful what you ask for!

Tasha Mack

Yaaaaas! LOVE LOVE LOVE her, she has no filter.  I enjoy her character especially because a woman of her age she still got it and is not afraid to use it. As you can see since she’s dealing with that young tenderoni wait I can’t even call Terrance J (vomiting in my mouth) a tenderoni. Really? Terrance J? Nobody else was available? Talk about favor aint fair. Did anyone notice he mentioned r&b singer Brandy in one of the scenes? That was a shameless plug on his behalf because they're dating and have been seen sitting courtside at the basketball games. Ok let me stop. A lot of women can actually relate to Tasha Mack, some women probably see her when they look in the mirror. Meaning trying to find love but in all the wrong men, oops I mean places. That goes back to my mindset, woman shouldn’t try to find love or a man they both should seek us! I'm sure these new decade men would debate that with me. That's fine I am up for a debate anytime.

Jason and Kelly Pitts

Are you feeling Kelly’s new Duran Duran aka Sonic the hedge hog hair cut? Am I the only one who noticed she wasnt on any of the promotional interviews? Mr. Jason is still cheap, and to add to it he’s now trying to find himself. Laaawwwwdd

And alright for TT getting a job! "Do I smell chicken"

Be BLESSED

MY! MY! MY!

Feeling like Usher. These are my confessions (laughing) So this weekend while out and running the traditional weekend errands in my traditional errand clothing that I call my construction worker look. Which includes, a baseball cap, baggier than normal jeans and layers of tops. I shared a moment!

That moment included a fine man! So the story goes like this. I turned around and this man was immediately behind me in line.  My senses said to my brain “he is weeeerrrrKKK” my brain then translated that to my open mouth and those words came running out, right to his ears. Now for those of you who may not be familiar with the term weeerrrkkK it simply means he was, fine, handsome just drop dead gorgeous. Everything was put together well from his head to his feet. I am sure if I would have gotten close enough he would have smelled just right. Now did I care if he heard me? Not really. Even though, I am not in the position to be accepting applications or auditioning life mates (dating). I wasn’t mad at my brain for speaking up and standing for what was right (laughing). Ladies I did it for us you would have thought the same.

Now I shared this moment that I had because it made me realize I do have a type!  Do you have a type? Or are you afraid to admit you have a type?  What does “type” even mean? Does that mean you absolutely will not date anyone who doesn’t look like “that”? For years my dearest friend has told me I have a type and I would argue her down and swear up and down I didn’t. On that day I came out of denial and said “self you do have a type”. However if he was my type I AM NOT MAD (laughing hysterically).

As I thought about his fineness on the way home I came to the following judgmental decision based on his looks alone. He probably is the definition of dirty dog (bless his little heart), I’m sure he doesn’t even know how to spell commitment yet alone be an example of it. Probably is just a holiday Christian attends church on Christmas, Easter and of course to show his love for his mother he attends church on Mother’s day. Thinks that converse is just a shoe and not actually the correct way to say conversating  (correct conversating is NOT a word). He probably is that man that will date you for 8 plus years and ya'll are over 30! Probably is that man who keeps his phone on silent and upside down. Probably is that man that will watch his lady pump the gas and he doesn’t even bother to take out the trash. BUT HE IS FINE!

Sadly to some what I mentioned above is not a problem its actually the norm. When did those qualities become okay? When did looks become a pass for all things that are wrong? Men you too are guilty. We do so much judgment on the outside and bypass what’s truly on the inside. We ignore when people show us who they really are, a lot of the times for shallow purposes. Are you shallow? Or do you recognize what’s on the inside first?  I will answer that last question for you NO you don’t! (Guilty) However the bigger question is when you realize who they truly are do you exit stage left? Or do you try and do everything in your precious power to change them? If a lot of us would put the energy into changing ourselves instead of others, guaranteed you would be in a better head space.

None the less he was still WeeeeerrrkkkK and I appreciated him for that (smiling ear to ear) Happy Monday lovely’s! Praying your today is better than your yesterday.

Be BLESSED

CoExist

In my world (I tend to think Im the only one in it sometimes) Love and Passion go hand and hand. At times we may not be able to express in ways that can always be received, some better than others. Daily I think about the words that I type that will appear on your screen and my hope is that it touches you in some way. This following post is something that I wanted to be said but I couldn't express in the right way. Yes, believe it or not I was speechless, and couldn't get it out. So I called on someone who I know can and will express herself with a pen and her soul very well. I asked her to leave you with some love and passion for the weekend, and she has exceeded my request. I will leave you with this reflection. Know WHO the blessings are in your life. I thank you Roni Meko.

Ms. Roni Meko

I fell because my heart skipped one too many beats
Feeling silly cause, I think LOVE has gotten the best of me
It’s got me wanting days and nights to last longer
And I think of you after every song I’ve heard and
Got me fiending in public to just catch the scent of you
I want to be your lover
 But I need your soul to crave me and say “I love her”
When I look at you, I know that God is real
Because it’s blessings that I feel
Because at night I pray, not for you to stay
But that God would see fit to give us His "okay"
When there is no certain mood
Because I’m always available for you
When the disagreement is healthy
And we're praying and fasting as one because we know the devil’s attack will be stealthy
 With you I’m not worried about my place or my role
Because God held our hearts and began to sculpt the mold
Can we love like Ruth and Boaz?
Be unsinkable in the storm because we are ancestors of Noah’s?
I realize that love ain’t always about "the one"
But recognizing we are 2, I’ll be the moon if you promise to be the sun
I’ll follow you if you promise to lead
But don’t ignore my submissiveness, because sometimes I’ll need you to take heed
That I am your rib and you’re my breath…
And we co-exist in this LOVE… 

© Copyright 2011

Embrace

With my hands on my hip almost letting my back slip “I can’t wait to grow up and move out” that statement was made by a younger me. When back then all I had to worry about was studying for a test, and where my girls and I were going that upcoming weekend. Men your only care in the world at that time was making the sports team, and when the latest sneaker was coming out.

This reflection came from one of my friends sending me some pictures that were about thirteen years old. As I looked at the pictures I almost became a little misty eyed because I just thought about the times we use to all laugh so innocently about the silliest things. How we use to have the biggest crushes on the boys. How none of us wore any makeup not even lip gloss! No, are lip gloss was not popping (laughing). I just want to go back. I want to go back to the hot summer nights at the pool. I want to go back to the days when all my friends got free starbucks because I worked there. I want to go back to the days we all got our first car and we were too excited. I want to go back to joy riding nights. I want to go back to all of those feelings just because I didn’t even know the meaning of complex. My world couldn’t give any examples of what complexity even looked like. Most of all I simply miss the closeness that we all shared, and that was due to the fact that we didn’t have a life outside of each other. It was our world and everybody else just lived in it. How perfect was that world right?

As a young adult we try and rush time just to become an adult and then try and freeze time. But if I knew then what I knew now (you know how that goes) I wouldn’t rush a thing! I wouldn’t rush a pager message 143. Not a phone conversation, even if that conversation lasted until we fell asleep on the phone. I wouldn’t rush a silly argument, not even an early Wednesday school dismissal. I wouldn’t rush the mailman to bring that letter I had been waiting on from my dearest friend. All of those small things are now so priceless.

Reality check! As we all now we can’t go back it’s just not possible. What we can do is embrace this time that we are present in, so that we won’t have anymore "I just want to go back" moments. Embrace all of the laughs and tears. Embrace all of these ups and downs and merry-go-rounds. Embrace all of the priceless moments that truly take your breath away. Enjoy it all even what you consider bad now, because you just may look back on the bad and wish you could just deal with that all over again. Reflect on what you and your family and or  friends have done recently, if you don’t have any recent memories make some!  Memories consist of the easiest ingredients. It can be a simple mix of sending this post to someone and reminding them of what they need to embrace. Whatever it is, just do it (that was a Nike moment sorry).

What I can say and embrace is that I definitely wasn’t in this space spiritually 14 years ago. So in that sense it is bittersweet. Since I asked the Lord to enlarge my territory and use me as a vessel my trials and tribulations were also enlarged, and that’s fine I will take it all.  Taking it all in on my way to greatness! I will get there, and I hear it’s an open invitation so you too can join me.

Let’s not try too hard to get that old thing back.  Rather it’s with love or friendships let’s make the new memories even better! Embrace the future after all it is waiting on us.

Be BLESSED

Financial Honesty

I am so excited! I have decided to start using coupons. Yes, coupons. I actually even have a competition going with one of my friends on who can save the most. I will be honest I haven’t used one yet but I have them stashed away. Its a fun challenge you should try it with some of your friends. Last year I was introduced to the dollar store and yes I was that person who asked how much is this? Can you believe it! Bless that little clerks heart because he actually answered me. Lets pause and take a moment to laugh at me (laughing).

In no way am I saying that there was anything wrong with coupons or the dollar store I am just so amazed about the fact that coupons and the dollar store makes a difference in our pockets. If you were like me and had no clue, you better learn about it. You sir or ma’am are not too good for coupons, you should probably check your reflection.

Why do we even have to use coupons to get the same deals? Why do we need to carry around these little pieces of 1x1 papers to catch such a savings? Like us women do not have enough randomness in our purses. Men do you even use coupons? If not, you should! Just not on dates (laughing). Why can’t we just get the savings off top? Safeway however has gotten smart they now have electronic coupons through their website that’s associated with your phone number (check it out). Now that is what I call mega fresh.

Why do some of us not even think to use coupons? Is it an ego decision or simply just unaware. Mine was simply that I was just unaware. From the richest to the poorest why wouldn’t you want to save the smallest amount? I remember one time I was in the store and my change was like two cents and I didn’t even bother picking it up. Whoever I was with said you better pick that up you never know when you are two cents away from a meal or buying some shoes. That has surely stuck with me years later. Truth moment, when I clean up and mop and sweep and if there was change on the floor I use to just sweep it up and put it in the trash. I literally use to throw away money. (I am so shame). I have recently started collecting the random change around my house and have decided once its filled to the top I am going to buy me something shiny and pretty.

How many of us are financially honest with ourselves? Suzie Orman said try living BELOW your means, now that is what I call intense! Below? Like below, below and by choice. Do you think it’s possible for you to do so? Can you actually try living on the necessities of life at least for two months meaning cooking at home. No extra just because Wal-Mart or Target runs. No starbucks, no buying those shoes because they were 50% off and you just had to get them, because you NEEDED another pair of black shoes (yeah right). Men no more buying another pack of white tees. No more buying anything for that precious angel in your life because it was something that was so adorable (guilty).

 I wonder how many of us honestly live within our means. If you said you do I will reach out on the ledge and say that I doubt you. Yes, I said I doubt you. If you do live within in or below your means, is it by choice or because this thirsty economy has forced you to? Could you do it willingly? Why not try and save, what do you have to lose? I guess the question is how much will you be saving? After all, some of you give out all types of other coupons anyway, why not start cashing  in on the right ones? Some of you will catch that last sentence later, its ok go back and re-read it one more time (laughing).

2011 I am going to make a conscious choice to be more financially honest with myself, I encourage you to do the same. Please share some great sales or coupons that you know that's going on right now. Dont worry if you're a closet coupon user your comments are posted anonymously. No one knows who you are, after all this is just the digital world (smile).