Haters

I do not believe in haters. Adult’s puuuuuuhlease (please) let’s allow the term “hater” to die! It truly has exceeded its moment. Let’s not even acknowledge the person or persons who we may feel do not always wish us well. Were giving them too much power and an even bigger platform for them to stand on, and that’s completely unnecessary.

I always say when you close your eyes at night know that someone is thinking of you, somehow and somewhere. It’s their thoughts and not yours, meaning you can’t control what someone else is thinking.  However we can control our reaction to their actions. I reflect on my reactions to things when I was younger, and often think I would have been in a different space had I reacted differently. Then I realize no, this is exactly where I am suppose to be, right here! You are where you are suppose to be, right there!

(Laughing and rolling my eyes) that last part sounded good right? I didn’t believe that at first either. Allow me to help you reflect and bring it to light. Some of us may have had different agendas for ourselves at this point in our life (guilty). Example a higher position in our career, and when someone who we knew received a promotion at their job we may have been (in memory of our dead word) a “hater”. Where are they now in their position (unemployed). I remember when I was a little girl and my Mommy and I were in the grocery store and I said I am going to be married by the time I am 18 and she responded “how do you even know someone is going to want to marry you” (you have to love her) and that lead me to reflect on this next point. Someone may have been getting married to who they thought wanted to marry them while you sat in the church pew thinking “always a groomsmen never a groom” and where are they now? At the county clerk’s office signing those papers (divorced). See you were sitting there being what some thought was a “hater” truth is God blocked you from all of those disappointments.

We often think when someone doesn’t agree with us or our way of thinking they’re a “hater”. Um no, why can’t they simply just be disagreeing with us or may just have their own mind. You know that is possible that everyone isn’t out to get you. Why do people think like that? Is it because someone has convinced them they are that important, or as a child their parents lead them to believe they could do no wrong. I definitely wasn’t raised that way my Mommy busted my bubble every time (laughing). Seriously where does the term “hater” come from? Who decided that was a great description for a person who may not be on the same level as us. We must think of another term, well truthfully another term is not needed because it would be just a ridiculous as the previous term.

Let’s try and see how long we can go without using the term “hater”. Before we let that word come out of our mouth or before we let our finger tips stroke those five letters on a keyboard lets think about what we are willing trying to call that person, and what we truly think of them. Try and turn that thought into something more positive or maybe even educate them. Better yet educate ourselves.

Be BLESSED

A Better You

My biggest concern as the minutes pass in my life is what have I done to make a difference. Do you consciously work on your legacy? When they have played that last song at your funeral what will the world remember you by? What have you given to the world that can be left behind? I’m not speaking in the terms of Oprah giving, but the simplest things matter. Are you that ear to listen? That hand that wipes a tear? Or even more powerful than that, are you that heart that prays for your neighbor. Even if you’re not yet, are you striving to be a better you? If not NOW is the time.

As a society we tend to work on being better physically and materially on a daily. That could range from us ladies getting that fabulous new bag to this seasons hottest boots. For the men being a better you could consist of keeping that fresh line followed by the 8,459^th pair of Jordan’s you just purchased. Is that where the betterment ends? What happened to being better spiritually, financially, and mentally just to name a few.

Striving to be a better you is just not for self. Rather we are aware or not we all have a silent watcher, someone who is watching your moves and not saying a word. It could be someone that looks up to you or someone you are encouraging with your actions or words It could be our most precious jewels a child.  For those of you who feel that you can't get any better please go play in traffic (wait that’s not nice). If you feel that you are that perfect person then you must be Jesus himself, if that’s the case I am going to need you to start handing out blessings. I would like for you to start with world peace!

If you are like the rest of us attempting to strive and be a better person daily it’s a process. A process that may take longer than we anticipated.  A process that requires more tears than we imagined. A process of many sleepless nights (guilty). A process that could break us down to the core, break us down to our knees. Which is the perfect position for prayer, and that’s just the place to begin being a better you. PRAYER.

Being a better you is hard enough without adding daily distractions. Let’s not be the ones classified as the distractions. What can we do to make the process a little easier for each other? How can being a better you help others? How can being a better you help YOU?

On a scale of 1-10 where are you in this process of being a better you?

Be BLESSED

The Little People

The pure essence of a child is magical. They are truly amazing. The little people teach you and remind you of things as an adult that are now considered a distant memory. The little people are fearless, sincere and simply determined. My niece reminded me of this at her young age. Not able to walk but has no problem sliding down the couch head first. Unable to stand just yet, but attempts to climb up the bookcase until someone who understands the danger (an adult) stops her exciting adventure. I became just a little emotional when I reflected on that life lesson. To see this little person just do ANYTHING simply because she wanted to, and not being afraid of the outcome spoke volumes in my life.

I look at the world as a big school that we all attend. I look at each one of us as teachers, we need to remember that we are here for each other. I look at our life lessons as our text books, and our trials and tribulations as our test. What happens when we fail the test? Well if we’re lucky were allowed to take them over. If you’re reading this, that means you’re still here and were allowed to take that test again. We both know you didn’t past it the first time. No shame here, I am very aware that I am not a great test taker. Not because I don’t study but because I become impatient and just want to get on to the next level. It’s funny how literal things reflect in our day to day life.

As I reflected on my thoughts I asked myself a question (don’t worry I didn’t answer myself). I asked is it possible to get back to that childhood fearlessness and simplicity? I jokingly often say “I am going to just own 3 pair of pants and just 2 tops and my life would be so much simpler.” That’s then followed by the statement “I’m going to do whatever I am afraid of, and who cares about the outcome.” Truth is I am afraid of the outcome, that’s who ME. There I said it! I am a scary cat, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not alone.  I am not the only one afraid of failure, but what makes our fear different from a child’s fear? As adults we say children don’t have a care in the world. Truth is we all start of that way, and we develop our own cares. We create our own problems then look to others to often solve them. If we could get back to that fearless time where would we all be? What are you afraid of?

I wonder if the little people will take me back in their circle, it’s so much cooler there!

Be BLESSED

Giggles

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Laughing hands down is my best therapy. The type of laughter that doesn’t have any choice but to reach your soul. I don’t think it’s possible for another human to enjoy it more than me.  If you’ve heard my laugh then you already know. You may even be annoyed by it (laughing with the knee slap) you know the laughter that takes your breath away, when the side of your body aches and you have to take a moment to truly get weak! (I am laughing to myself just thinking about it) My Mommy gets so mad at me she always says “Charlotte be quiet”

A lot of times we get so consumed with the daily hustle of life and just simply forget to laugh! How could we neglect such an important part of our day. Take a moment to laugh, take a moment to enjoy that smile that may have been meant just for you. Take a moment to reflect on the last person, place or thing (yes a noun) that made you laugh. Think about that moment that something happened to you and you said to yourself “this would only happen to me” Like my Pastor said Sunday just count it all joy, well actually James 1:2 said it and he preached it.

Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying, whatever the reasoning may be just make sure that laughter is on your daily to do list. Trust when you make a more conscious effort, your happiness will reflect in it. All those negative things won’t play such a major role when you lighten your load with laughter. I am a firm believer of speaking things into existence. I wonder if I can start the saying “laughing things into existence” (no Charlotte no!) Ok it was just a thought. Moving along…

Surround yourself with people who can help you obtain that goal (yes I consider it a goal). I believe I have some of the funniest family and friends ever. It’s hard for me to think that anyone else’s family or friends do or say the things that mine do. Both men and women. I have to believe that I must attract those types of beings and I am more than ok with that. I wouldn’t trade any of my friends for a brand new Hermes bag (ok wait let me re-think that) ok How about I wouldn’t trade any of my friends in for a brand new FUBU t-shirt…yea that’s better ;) friends over fubu!

Let’s reflect on some laughs together. What are some hysterical moments that truly took your breath away?

Be BLESSED

Change

We all know the famous quote “be the change you wish to see” by Ghandi.  Some may be more familiar with the song “a change is going to come” by Sam Cooke. I actually like the version of that song R&B singer Brandy is singing in her bathroom, look it up on you tube. The definition of change is to make different to cause a transformation. Every time the New Year rolls around we all make that resolution about what we are going to change. CHANGE! CHANGE! CHANGE!

I am a Lakers fan. When they lose I always feel there is something they need to change, but my last name is not Jackson nor Buss. When my San Francisco forty-niners just simply weren’t making the cut, Jed York decided he needed to change the coaching staff. He fired Mike Singletary (poor little Singletary). York wasn’t afraid of change, why because it was affecting his finances. Does it have to be something drastic enough for us to do what we need to do?

 A lot of people are afraid of change but why? Are they afraid that life itself would never be the same again or just simply afraid of the unknown. I am going to go with the unknown theory. We are raised to know better, don’t touch the oven because it’s hot, but we get a little closer to truly test the temperature. Were told not to play in traffic or run into the streets but I know we’ve found ourselves trying to see if we can cross the street just a little faster than that hybrid that is coming at us. As adolescents we easily can follow the unknown out of curiosity. Does that make us as adults a little more cautious? Is our caution hindering us from spiritual and personal growth?  Can we be honest enough to even admit that is the case?

For those of us who have personal conversations with God (if you don’t I strongly advise that you do) and we ask him to enlarge our territory. Yet we don’t do what we need to do within ourselves to even be able to receive such said blessing. How can we be afraid to change what needs to be changed for God? I will not believe that the reason for that is because we are cautious with him….I will just NOT believe that, that is a whole separate topic in itself (“cautious with God” let me write that down)

Are you afraid of change? Why do we feel we need to change anything? How did we get to the point that something has to be changed? What did we forget to do or not to do?

Take a moment and actually answer the questions I have asked. You can either share your answers or silently reflect on them.  Like I stated in a previous post what we go through is just not for ourselves. Your reflections may just be what someone else has been needing, it’s important to share and that too may help you change what you need to.

Be BLESSED

The Journey...

I was raised a emotionally private person (so I hope my Mommy doesn't see this) but in recent days I have decided to open up and share my thoughts solely for the purpose of blessing others. As this year comes to a close I simply reflect, and rejoice. I reflect on my ups and my downs. I rejoice with my soul knowing that if it wasn't for my valley lows I would NOT be where I am today. Not speaking from a physical or material space but a spiritual space.

The genre of gospel music soothes my soul.  It amazes me the feeling I still get from the sound of the organ, the bass in the drums, the stroke in the guitar or simply just hearing that angelic songstress sing their thanks and praises. By no means am I thee perfect christian nor do I betray myself to be. I am not attempting to have a come to Jesus moment. My hope is that from my reflections that you are able to have a better understanding of somethings or simply a laugh. As we all know what we go through in life is not for ourselves alone, its also for the betterment of others.  That reason alone is why I intend to honestly share my personal reflections from daily life to my personal moments with God.

The older I have become I have realized that you can not allow yourself to get lost in the helping of others. I am a firm believer in "paying it forward" I help others even if it means that I have to sacrifice, because I never know when it just may be my turn. In doing so, I also have realized that everyones definition of friendship is not the same. As children it was as simple as if you played together everyday at recces that was your best friend, you exchanged bff accessories and all was well. In adulthood not so much. Friendship expectations change and that is based on the fact you have changed. Yes! You have changed, you are not the same person you were before that heartbreak. Or that same person you were before you're hard work went unrecognized or even that person that you were 15lbs ago.

What do these changes mean? For some it can make you a even better person. For others the changes may cause distance, and or anger towards one another. The anger can come from a place of  a person not understanding how and why you handle lifes curve balls so gracefully (or so they think). The distance may come from you both just not knowing simply what to say. Silence is a relationship/friendships biggest murderer.

With those reflections being written I ask  Who or what soothes your daily thoughts? What is  your definition of friendship?  Are you the same person you were 8 years ago if so please tell us how you managed to do that!

Be BLESSED.